Roommates, Bad Dates, and Soul Mates
Roommates, Bad Dates, & Soulmates-Part 1
SpeakerDwight K. Nelson
Since 1983, Dwight Nelson has served as lead pastor of the Pioneer Memorial Church on the campus of Andrews University. He preaches on the “New Perceptions” telecast, teaches at the theological seminary and has written some books, including The Chosen. He and his wife, Karen, are blessed with two married children and 2 granddaughters.
More In This Series
“Roommates, Bad Dates and Soul Mates”—1
» Keep this in mind . . .
• Harry Nilsson—“One is the loneliest number . . .”
• Varun Soni, USC vice-provost: “What I have noticed in my work with students is that many of them face the same hidden root challenge: loneliness. . . . I never got the question in my first five years at USC that I now get almost daily from students: ‘How do I make friends?’” (www.latimes.com/opinion/op-ed/la-oe-soni-campus-stufent-loneliness-20190...)
• US News & World Report—a study last year of 20,000 U.S. adults “found that nearly half felt lonely at least sometime. And only 53% said they had meaningful face-to-face interactions every day.”
• God: “‘It is not good for the man [Adam] to be alone; I will make a companion who can help him [Eve].’” (Genesis 2:18)
• Norway survey of 15,000 people discovered:
– For those 18-29—what matters in relationships is quantity (how many friends do I have?).
– But for those 30-64—what matters in relationships is quality (how deep are my friendships?). (www.greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/how_loneliness_changes_across_...)
• Stephen Johnson—ask these questions to find out if you have the relationships you need:
– Do you have at least one person nearby whom you can call on in times of personal distress?
– Do you have several people whom you can visit with little advance warning without apology?
– Do you have several people with whom you can share recreational activities?
– Do you have people who will lend you money if you need it, or those who will care for you in practical ways if the need arises? (In Friendship Factor 24)
» 4 Secrets to Growing Friendships
• Friendship Secret #1—Less of and more of . (Unselfishness)
– Jennifer Schwirzer: “We have all done it, and we have all suffered when others have done it. The monologuist fails to hold an actual conversation. They seem to thrive on the sound of their own voice.” (13 Weeks to Love 56)
• Alan McGuinnis: Ask yourself—
– Do we usually end up going to the restaurant or watch the movie I prefer?
– Do I enjoy correcting factual errors in other people’s conversations?
– Do I use humor to put down my friends?
– Do I have to know more about a topic than others to feel comfortable discussing it?(Friendship Factor 63)
– 1 Corinthians 13:5—“Love is not -seeking.”
• Friendship Secret #2—Let’s ! (Communication)
– Les and Leslie Parrott (in their book), observe: “Consider this fact: Men say three times as many words in public as they do in private, while women say three times as many words in private as they do in public.” (Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts 108)
– Alan McGinnis: “There can be no intimacy without .” (Friendship Factor 105)
– Luke 24:15—“[Cleopas and his friend] talked and discussed these things with .”
• Friendship Secret #3—Quit keeping . (Gift of a Good Forgetter)
– Jacques Vaudre: “Keeping score belongs in competitive sports, not in a mutually supportive relationship. . . . The idea that love involves some sort of quid pro quo, is, at best, evidence of immaturity that needs to be outgrown. At worst, it is a distortion of love that turns two people into unhappy combatants vying for control.” (Six Dynamic Keys 120)
– Matthew 6:12 NIV—“And forgive us our debts as we also [GK already forgiven our debtors.”
• Friendship Secret #4—I’m willing to so you can . (Self-sacrifice)
– The sacrificial love of a mother for her child
– John 15:13—“Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s .”
Best Friends Forever